I
need to talk about my loss. I may often need
to tell you what happened or may ask you
why it happened. Each time I discuss my loss,
I am helping myself face the reality of the
death of my loved one.
I
need to know that you care about me. I need
to feel your touch, your hugs. I need you
just to be with me. (And I need to be with
you.) I need to know you believe in me and
in my ability to get through my grief in
my own way. (And in my own time.)
Please
don't judge me now or think that I'm behaving
strangely. Remember I am grieving. I may
even be in shock. I may feel afraid. I may
feel deep rage. I may even feel guilty. But
above all, I hurt. I am experiencing a pain
unlike any I've ever felt before.
Don't
worry if you think I'm getting better and
then suddenly I seem to slip backward. Grief
makes me behave this way at times. And please
don't tell me you know how I feel, or that
it's time for me to get on with my life.
(I am probably already saying this to myself.)
What I need now is time to grieve and to
recover.
Most
of all, thank you for being my friend. Thank
you for your patience. Thank you for caring.
Thank you for helping, for understanding.
Thank you for praying for me. "And remember,
in the days or years ahead, after your loss
when you need me as I have needed you - I
will understand. And then I will come and
be with you.
